Stay tuned to this space

So I usually like to do at least a couple of posts a week but I don’t think I’m going to have another substantive post this week. Something came up in my life that my mind has been singularly focused on and it has soaked up all of my creative juices.

I’m hoping this will be over soon. I have some post ideas and I’m hoping I’ll have some time this weekend to sit down and write. In the meantime, feel free to peruse the blog’s greatest hits below. You know, from the entire month of its existence.  Make a game of it and state which one is your favorite in the comments.

Social Norms: Real World vs. Disney World

My Twitter followers know something about me that fans of my blog may not know: I’m a huge fan of Disney World. Someday I’ll go into a dissertation justifying why it’s perfectly acceptable for a 30 year old woman without kids to love Disney World for those not in the know, but just suffice to say it’s fun, I’m not ashamed of it, and you should totally go — without kids — some time.

Anyway, I’ve noticed that there are a few things that are perfectly acceptable within the borders of the Walt Disney World Resort that would at least get a raised eyebrow up to a call to the police/EMTs/nearest psychiatrist if you did it in the real world.

Observe:

1.Eating dinner with a mouse, bear, rat, and alien.

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1a. Eating breakfast, including sausage and bacon, in front of a pig.

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2. Grown men proudly wearing a cartoon mouse on their clothing.

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2a. Or entire families wearing matching tie-dyed shirts.

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3. Putting ears on anything that doesn’t, or even does, move.

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3a. In a similar vein, grown adults walking around, without shame, wearing mouse ears.

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(Image Source: The OC Register)

4. Wearing a cloth necklace with hundreds of dollars of cheap trinkets attached to it that have no value in any other place or time.

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4a. Or on your hat.

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5. Having a pair of overgrown chipmunks fight over your love and attention.

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6. Having a medieval castle at the end of a street from turn-of-the-century middle America.

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(Image Source: JamboEveryone)

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(Image Source: Mearn)

7. Talking to actors playing characters without being able AT ALL to acknowledge that they’re playing characters.

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8. Telling a duck wearing a wild west outfit that he’s #1.

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9. Bitching that a huge Yeti is apparently more interested in disco dancing than swiping at you to kill you.

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(Image Source: Main Street Gazette)

10. Walking around in a glorified trashbag when it rains.

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11. Being totally comfortable with a monster and his female lover.

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12. OMG EXCITED THAT A CANDLE IS WAVING AT ME.

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13. These guys are ROCK STARS.

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At the same time, there are things that are perfectly acceptable in the real world that feels a little weird when it’s done at Walt Disney World:

1. Ogling scantily clad women. Dude — she’s a cartoon character. It’s weird. Stop. Same goes for the women practically throwing their panties at Jack Sparrow. Have some shame.

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2. Getting intimate with your spouse. After spending 12+ hours talking to a bunch of cartoon characters, it feels a little… inappropriate. (I just convinced every male who reads my blog and has never been to WDW not to go, didn’t I).

There’s not a picture of this. Perv.

 

Of dog poop, neighbor drama, and doing laundry on the porch: Adventures with my HOA

Husband and I bought a house last year in a really beautiful neighborhood where all the houses are built with rocking chair front porches and a certain Charlestonian-charm. The neighborhood, to keep its beauty and charm, has a really strict HOA and rules about what can be visible, how your yard should look, etc. This is done so that the neighborhood is attractive and that the home values will stay up since people will want to live here.

With all the rules comes almost constant drama. The neighborhood has a Facebook group where the homeowners come on asking for babysitters, or putting things up for sell, or, the most popular activity, bitch about the HOA.

The current drama is over placement of trashcans. Most of the houses in my neighborhood have the garages in the back and a series of alleys behind the houses allows us access to the garage. Apparently the HOA rules have always been that trashcans have to be hidden from view from both the street AND the alleys, but it has only been recently — when the HOA switched management companies — that the rule is being enforced.  Previously, as long as your trashcans couldn’t be seen from the road, you were good.

Most of my neighbors seem to have put in cement pads for their trashcans with screens like this blocking them from being seen from any direction by the road:

But because this set up allows for the cans to be seen from behind, where the alley is, the HOA has started sending out threatening letters to hide the cans from both sides or risk being fined.  This is apparently upsetting since buying more fencing is going to be expensive and make it kind of hard to access the cans.

My neighbors are upset enough at being called out by the HOA that they are now calling each other out for breaking HOA rules, I guess with the attitude of “If I’m going down, I’m taking everybody with me.” So far, I’ve seen somebody being called out for leaving their portable basketball hoop out in the driveway, for having an inflatable play space in their backyard, having political signs in their yard (which was later determined to actually be ok since the state Supreme Court has found that HOAs can’t limit homeowners from displaying political signs), letting their pet bunny get out of their yard too often, and leaving their garage door open too much.

My favorite tattle-telling entries, however, have been the ones that call out the neighborhood management for their total hypocrisy, because they are less petty and make me less uncomfortable.  Examples of how the neighborhood management should maybe think about putting the rock down while hanging out in their glass house:

This is in one of our parks; there is a company paid for by HOA dues to keep the green spaces pretty and well maintained:

And this is my absolute favorite, the current view of our neighborhood club house:

Meanwhile, I haven’t seen anyone post about this, but this is a sight that’s been available for over a week:

Washer-on-the-porch watch, day 4: say it with me, it's still there.

Yep, that’s a dryer. My neighbors dry their clothes on their patio. Because nothing says “classy neighborhood” and “increasing home values” like a dryer on the patio.

P.S. My husband has informed me that my picture of the cans behind the fence looks like a house where the big can is the house and the smaller can is a garage. I infer that this means the house has a random big white fence on two sides. So, I leave it to you, my wonderful readers…

I got attacked by ladybugs today

It all started innocently. I was staring into space while, uh, working, and I noticed this little guy hanging out on the outside sill on the window of my office:

No big deal. Little guy is just trying to get out of rain, I guess.

Right beside the window to my office is an area of the masonry outside which sticks out in a column type shape. I looked over and I saw….

SEVEN LADY LUGS CRAWLING AROUND RIGHT OUTSIDE MY WINDOW.

THEY WERE EVERYWHERE.

I quickly went back to the safety of my desk and…. well, went back to work.
BUT… Then I found out that one of my coworkers had a ladybug IN HER OFFICE. Obviously, they were invading. I went back to my window and sure enough, about 4 more lady bugs were crawling around outside.

I sat back at my desk and watched… I wouldn’t let them get the better of me. They were coming for me, but I would be vigilant. Yes… I would be vigilant.

Well, viligance lasted less than 6 minutes because, well, as an attorney I’m on the billable hour and I don’t get paid to watch ladybugs.

BUT THEN. About 30 minutes later I decided to check on the lady bugs, and went to the window to see what they were doing….

And.

One.

Was.

INSIDE.

Well, now I was well and truly freaked out. I have no idea how the little bugger got inside.  The windows are really well caulked and, like, triple paned.

But it was obvious that an invasion was happening. So I did the only thing I could….

I went back to my desk and billed some more hours.

After about another 30 minutes, I went back to see what was going on. The one that had gotten inside was NOWHERE TO BE SEEN.

But.. there was another one… Another one on the outside window sill.

And it was mad:

 

Damn my alcohol-induced bad memory.

So, over the past hour I’ve written about 3 different blog posts in my brain. But then I forgot them all before I could post them. I blame my rum and coke.

The rum? Delicious, delicious Kraken.

(*psst* makers of Kraken…. call me. I’ll totally advertise for you in exchange for rum)

P.S. I like how WordPress tries to inspire me with quotes from people like Ralph Waldo Emerson when I publish a post. WordPress, I am blogging while intoxicated. Your inspirational words from masters of the English language are lost on me.