I am a Christmas tree Scrooge

Driving through my neighborhood these days makes me feel like the laziest person on earth.  We have a bunch of decoration overachievers in my neighborhood where people put out these really elaborate and beautiful holiday displays — in a classy way (uh, mostly), remember my HOA. I haven’t taken any pictures of the Christmas decorations, but enjoy this set of Halloween displays (I try to make this blog timely for you guys!):




Now remember this is for Halloween. The Christmas decor gets ramped up by about 10x the light and decoration power.

Last year I was so excited to be in my first house that we went all out and really tried to decorate the place up. We still didn’t do even half of what others in my neighborhood did, but I was proud of how my house looked.

This year, I’ve just been… eh. It’s not that I don’t like Christmas, but I just don’t have the same enthusiasm for some reason. Last weekend I got out a box of Christmas decorations and put up the stocking holders, a gold glittery reindeer I love, and a ceramic Christmas tree and was spent.

Now, I’m even questioning whether or not to put up a Christmas tree.

You see, we don’t own a Christmas tree.  For the first three years of my marriage, my husband and I lived in a house my parents owned.  It’s their retirement house and while they don’t live there because they haven’t retired yet, it’s on a lake and it’s where they come to vacation.  They have a fake Christmas tree that all of us put up and decorate every Thanksgiving so I’ve never had to own a Christmas tree before.  My husband and I intended to buy one last year, but then the entire family went on vacation over Christmas  so we didn’t bother since we wouldn’t actually be in our house on Christmas Day.

This year it’s different. I keep looking for a fake tree to get, but I’m a huge Christmas tree snob and I haven’t found one that I think looks full or real enough that doesn’t cost $500. I started thinking about just buying a real tree, but then I was watching the news and they were talking about how the problem with real Christmas trees is that they can come infested with bugs and there’s pretty much nothing I hate more than bugs.  All bugs. I’m an equal opportunity bug hater.

Plus when we went to go look at Christmas trees I couldn’t find one that looked as good as the nice fake Christmas trees.  Isn’t that sad? Then I start thinking about having to hang the lights and ornaments and put out the Christmas tree skirt that I don’t even know where it is because it probably never got unpacked from the move and I don’t even know where I’d put a stupid tree in my house and I’m just exhausted now.

So now I’m facing a prospect of not having a Christmas tree.  We don’t have kids and will probably spend Christmas Day at my parent’s lake house with the family, so I’m not feeling that sense of urgency.  But I still feel like I’m a total Scrooge and loser for not having one. I’m having an existential crisis over here.

I wish I could just buy a fake tree already decorated that I can take straight from the box and put up. Does anyone know whether such a thing exists? Oh, I’ll just check Amazon.

P.S. Ha, ha, already decorated trees totally exist. Oh, Amazon, I love you.

Because I’m sure there is nothing fake-looking about a tree that you put up like this:


(image source: BrylaneHome, for all of your pop-up tree needs)


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