So, I think at some point in life there’s a class where you learn how to have meaningful and fulfilling social interactions without exposing yourself as a total loser. I must have totally missed it, though.
Or maybe it’s a gene. It’s definitely a gene. I don’t have it.
I am just really not good with talking to people. And I hate awkward silence. I’ll be with someone and the conversation dies down and the silence is just hanging there and I’ll just blurt out something like “I like butterflies. You?” This is the reason I’m well on my way to being the crazy cat lady who never leaves the house and you’re never quite sure if she’s still alive but every once in a while you’ll see the door to her house pop open to allow another cat to walk in. The only thing stopping me from this destiny is my husband. And the fact that I don’t have any cats. But if something happened to my husband I’d really be in trouble. Cats are easy to get.
With all of my social awkwardness, there is one question people ask me that I hate the most out of all others:
“So, what’s new?”
The answer is always “nothing.” On any given day, you can pretty much guarantee that nothing is new in my life.
Still Married? Check.
Still have a dog? Check.
Still don’t have a baby? Check.
Still have the soul crushing job that I’m pretty sure is on it’s way to making me an evil villainess from a Saturday morning cartoon? Check. (This is the other way my life might go if anything happens to my husband. I’m either going to become a crazy cat lady or an evil villainess from a Saturday morning cartoon).
I have a couple of friends that it tends to happen that we only talk about once a year. Unfortunately, it never lasts long because we really don’t know how to interact with each other now that we know nothing about each other’s lives and we always get hung up on this question. There’s really no way to keep the conversation going after “So, what’s new?” “Nothing.” “Oh. Ok.” And then I bust out “I like butterflies, you?” and they start backing away slowly.